OH CHRISTMAS TREE!!!!!!! ARRRRRGGHHHHH!!

Putting away Christmas, and the tree won't fit back into it's box!! It is too poofy, and I'm afraid I'll break the lights if I put too much pressure on it. The plan to get it put away so it survives entails cleaning up the basement and garage... guess what I'll be doing this weekend??? Fun times, fun times.....

we got through!!!

We got through Christmas!!! The girl got her pink guitar. Which, when tuned, the knobs wouldn't stay. After firing off a cranky email to Santa, I put back in the box, waiting for a return label the next day. What was on the box, but a teeny, tiny sticker that said that the screws in the knobs may need tightened and the guitar may need tuned. So I tightened the screws (with my new tool kit... Thanks!!!!) and the guitar works!! The next morning, I received an email from Santa, saying to keep the guitar, and that the money he paid the low quality elves was being sent to my checking account to buy the girl a new guitar. Sooooooo, when the guitar breaks, we can buy her a new one.

The boy got his lego castle that he wanted. He spent the morning building it, and finished building it the next morning because the kids had to go to their dads. The boy also got a scooter from his meemaa. He told her earlier that he didn't think he would like one, but it has been driven inside the house until today, when it got used outside (it will not get to come upstairs now that it has been outside!! No more dodging the kids flying through the house at top speed!).

I got my grades today. Kinda dissappointing. I have to retake one, maybe two. But I did get a B in college Algebra!!!!! Now I'm sweating how to get these classes scheduled to try and make my graduation deadline... Wish me luck!!! Now on to the New Year... What to resolve... I'm thinking I should try and wear makeup every day (see previous yamma jamma post). That may bring a whole new level of keeping things together...

the girl says...

The water coming out is so cold... I took two drinks and got a brain freeze. It hurts. This is said in the cutest way the girl can... with her accent. We love her!!!

busy nite

So, I think I've gotten all the presents wrapped that I can. There are a couple I still have to buy and craft, and a couple I have to finish crafting. There is NOTHING on my cable-less TV, so I have had to resort to baking. So far, I have made blob bars (gooey, chocolatey, rich), carmel delights (turtleish, carmel, chocolate), cheesecake brownies, I am currently on the base of lemon bars. Next, and what is last for tonight is brownies. NOT from a mix!!! I think this is all of the "bars" I bake for the season. I still have cookies to make. This will be a two phase process, as I have to take care of my Jackie, and am not cooking anything peanutty until I have given him his snacks.

Since there wasn't anything on the TV, as I have previously stated, I decided to clean the fridge. I need room for all the goodies, and I can't remember the last time I cleaned it, so that means it must be time! I threw away all the condiments that I don't eat, that were eaten only by the brainless fool. I don't know why I didn't do that earlier... they somehow made it to the bottom shelves of the door, and were just taking up space. It wasn't as therapudic as packing his clothes or creating a burn box of things that turn up that need purged/destroyed. Maybe I should have wrapped them up for Christmas for him... but that would be a waste of my time and wrapping paper. Let him get his own damn chili sauce and horseradish and whatever other weird things he had!!!

I need a photog!!

So I see that the Grinch is having a photo session downtown today. I need to replace the engagement picture on my mom's wall that hasn't fallen off and broken as I've prayed. I think the kids may notice the hole on the wall this late in the game. Hence the replacement picture. However, I have no photog... my wonderful sister is on her way to Texas. I guess I'll just have to rely on the kindness of strangers.....

My acting debut...

Yesterday I had a play. It was really a musical. But who cares. It was called "Santa's Holiday Hoedown." I was an elf. Only two of the other elves were from my grade. The rest of the kids from my grade were reindeer. The only song I didn't sing was the reindeer song. The last performance was postponed because we got out of school early because of freezing rain and ice. We get to do that performance after the new year. I had lots of fun doing the play, er, I mean musical. My Pampa was cracking up the whole time. My Gramps came too. As well two of my aunts, my uncle, and all their kids that weren't at school. I'm glad they came. My mom was at both shows in the morning. My sister only got to come to the first. My best buddy cousin, who's in my grade, got to see both shows as well.

This post is sponsered by the boy goat.....

what the girl brought home...

To: Santa
From: the girl

I love you Santa! Santa you are the best! I love wen you give me toys!
(all the exclamation points and i's are hearts)

another birthday...

A hip hop happy bday to the biggest baby ever!!!!! Boyo, you are getting older, but will always be the a-nnoying littlest brother I've ever had!!! The kids think they are the same age as you, and you are the most fabulous 23 year old uncle they have!! Just a little song for you...

Hey AARON, it's your birthday, I'm in charge of the stars, and I'm here to say,
Hey AARON, it's your birthday, today!
My name is zoom, and I live on the moon, but I came down to earth just to sing you this tune,
Hey AARON, it's your birthday, today!

I got your crazy...

I almost got arrested on Monday. I got pulled over for speeding (the officer says he caught me going 82 in a 65). It turns out that I have a warrant for my arrest for a non-moving violation. This parking ticket was NOT gotten by me. I just happen to be the wonderful person who was in charge of licensing the automobiles during my still unfinished marriage. So, this ticket was gotten on the Durango. Fortunately, the officer did not feel like arresting me for this. He also gave me a ticket for only going 5 over, so it won't impact my record! Can I just thank this officer!?! So to keep my holiday spirits up, I decided to make an elf costume. When the girl heard this fun, she wanted one to. I found that Hobby Lobby had $1 patterns, found a pattern that could be considered an elf costume, and picked out the most FABULOUS material to make them with! I then took it to my mom's, who said she would serge them if I would cut them out. That is an offer I can't turn down! They are the best costumes, and I think the girl and I will be wearing them way past Christmas!!!!!

it's birthday time...

The goats would like to give a HAPPY BIRTHDAY shout out to one of the most fabulous aunts we have!! Happy Birthday Kate!!!!! Welcome to your new 20's!! I've been waiting for you to get here for 15 months!!!

snow memories...

So they say it is going to snow tomorrow. I just thought about my favorite memory of a snow storm from several years ago.... The kids and I went to the grocery store to stock up on essentials (milk, eggs, cereal, diet coke and chips!). As we were loading up the car, an old man came up to the car next to us, smiled, and said, "Just in case I get snowed in!" as he held up a gallon jug of vodka and a gallon of OJ. I just had to smile and laugh to myself...

yamma jamma!

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and I've become a two-face! My lack of sleep, and last week's crud, which I have narrowed down to anemia, mono, or meningitis (I AM a college student), have left me bedraggled. I need to get the energy to put on makeup EVERY day. Eeesh! Not my thing. Hopefully the two-facedness will pass soon, cause I'm too lazy to take the 5 minutes to slap on a one-face.

And I'd like to thank my sister for NOT telling me that I had become a two-face! I'd think I could count on her to tell me to go slap some paint on when I saw her on Sunday, even if it was mom's and the colors weren't right... Also, thanks be to my mom and sister-in-law as well for the oversight! This is not something a girl should find out on her own... as it leads to the question, "how long HAVE I been a two-face?" how embarrassing!!!

finally got it!

So, over the Summer, the water heater exploded. It drenched the Christmas tree, so I get to purchase a new one via the insurance! The kids and I decided we wanted a tinsel tree. We started with white, but then I saw a "champagne" colored on at Target. I fell in love. However, it was more than insurance would pay for. So, after looking at way too many stores, I tried the internet. Thanks to Al Gore, we now have a gold tinsel tree, a few cents under the price, with free shipping! This year we are getting purple decorations for our home town! Purple and Gold!!!! Go team!!! Next year will be black and gold, MIZZOU!! And, if the Chiefs improve, we can eventually make a red and gold tree. I'm SOOOOOO excited!! The tree gets here next Tuesday, so we have to pick up, make room, and rearrange so we'll be ready when it gets here!

recap of the week

So it has been a looooong week! Starting with Tuesday. I somehow was able to take a 2 hour nap! This never happens, even at night! I found out why later on Tuesday night... I began getting a cold. Not good! On Wednesday, the boy got his tonsils taken out. This has been planned for a couple of months, but some people thought I just decided this. I coughed and hacked my way through it, and then the boy and I came home and slept. There was some drama in the waiting room, but you will have to ask my mom for those deets.

Thursday went fine, the boy ate a double cheesburger from Wednesday night for his Thanksgiving dinner. I slept a lot, ate, went to K-Mart (where there was a sweater for $70?? If I'm paying that much for a sweater, it isn't going to be from the big K!), then planned for the black Friday attack.

It began with leaving at 3:30am for Kohls. We got there a little before 4, waited in the car for the doors to open, and by the time we were to the doors, the line had gone. We had the list, divided and conquered. We were out by 4:30. On to JCPenney's, where they were sold out of the aqua globes. Next on to Wal-Mart. Two of the advertised toys were not there! I had to talk with the manager, who said there are no rainchecks, and the price won't be the same when they do find the pallets! Bait and switch??? Then on to Best Buy, where the guy in the Wii games section was super fabulous!! I think I may have cut in line to pay, but that's just payback for two years ago there!! Then on to Target. I hadn't encountered much trouble so far, so we thought maybe I wouldn't find any. (The past 2 years, I've had to cause trouble at injustices I've seen in stores) Well, Target "security" began with telling us lazies that they weren't going to open the grocery side doors for 45 minutes after they opened the other ones (last year it was 5 minutes, which was fine!). Then I watched as the loyal employees locked the exit doors, leaving only one set of doors available for shoppers to enter/exit, and as it was a mass entrance, no one could exit if something happened. I loudly voiced my concerns to my fellow shoppers as well as the head of "security" who then had to tell the loyal employees to unlock the exit doors after he insisted they weren't locked. Then Mar snuck in line and almost had to knock out a dumb lady. They aren't getting MY business for a while. Then on to breakfast. I think this may have been a bad idea, cause it zapped my energy and I was ready for a nap. We went back by Wal-Mart, hoping the missing pallets had resurfaced (they hadn't), then by Walgreens, then back to Meems. I took a little nap, then gathered my kids and went home.

Friday evening we went and hung out with friends. We had a FABULOUS time! I saw the first James Bond with Daniel Craig. He is better than I thought he would be! On the way home, I got pulled over for speeding, but in my way, I didn't get a ticket. The poor kids are getting a skewed view of the system. This is the third time they've been with me when I've been pulled over and gotten a warning. But, they also heard that I have an "excellent" driving record! Now that is a laugh and a half!

Saturday found us sleeping the day away. We had to be normal for about a couple of hours when boyo and mar came up for a game of life and a hair dye. We went back to bed after that and stayed there until this morning! It is amazing that the boy has not gotten this cold. A result of blessings and prayers, I'm sure! The girl has gotten it though, and has become super meow! I think we are going to sleep away another day!

bad case of the 3 o'clocks

So, since I can't sleep, I'll blog... The girl and I watched the AMA's the other night, and I was surprised that I can forget a shirt, but I can still remember all the words to the NKOTB songs. I was never an NKOTB fan, either!! Ask my sister, she will testify! I also noticed that their dance moves have not changed since their first go round. I then surprised the girl with the song purple rain as I was inspired by Rhianna's hair. Again, knowing all the words. If this stuff is in my mind, how am I forgetting the most basic things as putting on a shirt?

Anyways, I figured I'd leave ya'll with a list of my 3 favorite boy banders...

1. Justin Timberlake. He is by far the most successful person to come from a boy band. I think I love him almost as much as Ellen does.

2. Chris Kirkpatrick. I think this is how you spell his name. But as the voice of my favorite animated boy bander, Chip Skylark ("my shiny teeth and me!") how can I not love him!

3. AJ from BSB. Why haven't I seen this loveable bad boy on Celebrity Rehab yet? Did he really take to sobriety? I hope so!

And now I hear some moving around... I think one of the kids may have a case of the 3 o'clocks as well...

yes, I saw it

I saw the Twilight movie yesterday!!! I read the first book, and it was alright, but not good enough to make me want to read the whole series. The movie was what I expected from the books, and I think this would make a great CW mini series, and would have stayed more true to the chronology of the book. I'm going to see the rest of the movies, because as a fan of campy teenage angst filled dramas, this was FABULOUS (with jazz hands going on). Somehow I missed in the book that all the talking of blood was really an analogy for S-E-X. I think that in the books there was enough detail and words on everything else, I must have glazed over it. But in the movie, I was scandalized! The book was just over worded smut, I guess! Hmmmmmm...

On another note, I got my DTV converter boxes today. Our main TV needs a better antenna, and that is with the upgrade! I also discovered that I can't watch CBS yet, because they have not switched over. I have been muttering bitters for the last hour as I hooked it up because, I did not sign up to be cable-less, I thought my happy life would provide that for ever, or until I had gotten mad at ALL the cable and satellite companies, which would take pretty much the rest of my life. Then the bitters continued as I had to do electronic work. I hate hooking up wires and plugging stuff in and finding plug strips and paying attention to set it up right. And then to have it not work out as good as it is supposed to!!! I now have to get someone to hook up a real antenna outside like the hillbilly I am to be able to watch TV from the couch! What fun, bring on the holidays, I'm full of cheer!

an open letter...

Dear Carl Edwards,
Please date my mommy. I know you're engaged, but if it doesn't work out, my mom is open. I think you're a great sport, a good racer, and an awesome guy. My mom drives her fusion fast, but not as fast as you! Go Ford! I'd like you to teach me how to do back flips, too! Does that AFLAC duck annoy you as much as it annoys me? I've got nothin else, so have a good off season, and I'll be watchin for you next year!

Your man,
The Boy

sleep deprived...

I thought I was in need of sleep a month ago, but it's getting worse!! I have given up on getting a good night's sleep, and am in search of a good concealer. Out of the three I have, the cheap, stick one works the best. I am also in search of an IV for my diet coke, as it is about the only thing keeping me moving. My sleep helpers aren't even working that good, as the 2 o'clock wide awakes are getting more intense. I think if I wouldn't wake the kids, and it wasn't so cold, I would be climbing the stairs. So, if I'm getting more forgetful and flaky, please stick with me, cause hopefully I will get so sleep soon... I'm so tired that I can't even get a nap in. Oh, well, it should eventually come, I think. Maybe when I'm done with this semester and I've gotten my grades...

proving me wrong...

So the kids got clearanced out lunchables this last weekend. In it was a little water bottle with a kool-aid thing to make your own... So, the smarty kids they are, decided to create their own at home... The boy comes out with some new kool-aid, I'm wondering where he got it, and he goes on to tell me he used a regular kool-aid packet. So as punishment, I tell him he has to drink it in front of me so I can see his reaction. When I explained to him that it would taste bad because there wasn't any sugar, he didn't believe me... So, he has drank most of it with a straight face. The girl made hers, took a drink, and poured the rest down the drain. To which I proclaimed to the boy that he can now be a homeschooler with his lack of sugary drinks, and that I can now feed him cheerios without sugar, and so on, as taunting can go when he is stubbornly telling me how good it is. I think he learned his lesson... if not, I've got to find him some "ice-milk" for dessert and powdered milk to drink, since he has lost any sense or sense of taste! Doesn't this also mean that I can feed him vienna sausages, and canned peas? I'm hoping I can break him before that, because those are two of the most disgusting foods ever, right after the chef boyardee (not franco-american) that nasty cat-food filled ravioli...

most heartbreaking comment

I had thought that the most heartbreaking comment I had heard was, "Remember when my dad was my REAL dad and we did....." The girl has been starting her memories with this phrase for some time. Tonight I found that the boy has his version. "My dad quit being a good dad in 2007" is what he said. Ouch, but true. And what can I say to them except that I'm sorry things happened this way, that people make bad decisions that mess things up so much.

Also of note this last week, the boy had a wire pop out. I was doing my homework when he came up to me and said, the girl and I were wrestling around, and her foot caught my mouth, and my wire popped out. It was on his cheek, outside his mouth! I put it back in and took him to the ortho the next day. I'm still trying to figure out how that happened, with no crying or anything, just laughter and giggles... who knew the girl has such monkey toes?

where did she go?

So yesterday after school, the girl went to find her kitten. Mallory was gone. The turkey the girl put out for her is still there today, so I'm thinking that she went to live with someone for real. I dodged that bullet pretty well, as the girl kept asking if we could make it our pet for real. My most recent response was that if I wanted to take care of something else for almost 20 years, I'd have another kid, and that at least a kid would learn to use the toilet in a few years.

In other news from yesterday, at bedtime the girl told me that she had to sleep in my bed because Goatelyn (formerly Goatly) was already asleep in my bed and she has to sleep with her. Then, Goatelyn jumped off the bed in the middle of the night and I had to rescue her. How the girl could hear the thud of a bean bag on carpet in her sleep, I don't know... I'm starting to think I may have company when I jump on the crazytrain!

anybody need any help??

There is no need to fear, Super The Girl is here!!! Can I help you? Do you need help, cause I'll help you if you're stuck!!
(Wearing her Wonder Woman costume, long red socks, and red pumps with socks on the heels because the nails are showing, also white flowered gloves. Now she has taped her cape round herself like a dress.)

I need to go get lipstick on.....

The Girl

what I did at school today

Dear Santa,

For Christmas I would like the lego turbo car. I'd like it to help my lego skills. My skills are good but I want to make them even better.
Also, it's a set that just let out. It's so cool. Plus, it has realy good detail.
I can't wait until Christmas.

Your man, The Boy

P.S.- How's it been?

uuuuggggghhhhhh!!!!!

Both kids had homework tonight... firstly, they both had math. The boy is beginning division, and I caught him trying to cheat with a calculator already. The girl is learning I'm not sure what, but it involved "steps," I think it is adding. Next came reading. The girl is supposed to read a book called "ships and boats." Do you think she really wants to read this? Do you think I really want to listen to it? It was torture!! 14 pages of stab-our-eyes-out agony. But, we made it! Onto the boy's next assignment, his book report. It isn't due until Friday, but with our schedule we have to get as much done as possible. So the boy seaches for the book for a half hour (while the girl and I are learning about water transportation), and can't find it. I ask if he left it at school, and get a blank stare. The girl and I assist in looking for another 15 minutes, with no success only for me to ask if he maybe took it in the car. He then smacks his head and looks in his backpack. It's not there, he left it at school!!!!! I'm biting my cheeks trying not to scream! I better get my bag packed cause I hear the train a comin. Next stop, crazytown!

new blog on list

I've added a new blog to my blog list!! Be Centsable is fabulous!!! It has links to fabulous bargins, and printable coupon sites... I've got to replace the big computer so I can print!! So have fun checking it out, and hopefully it will help all of you be as anal about saving at least $50 at each Wal-Mart visit as I am!!!

Announcing.....

My mouth with braces. I thought I was just getting the behind-the-teeth wire put in again. But, the ortho put the braces on my front too! I got to choose my colors, so of course I chose the colors of my favorite high school football team (who are now 11-0, way to go team!!!)! My mouth hurts bad, and I can feel my teeth moving. Momma says that I will have a more handsome smile when I'm done with the braces!

This message is sponsored by the boy!

this is what I looked like before!

do you like it?

Hey everybody! I picked out the new page! I think it is beauuuuuutiful! It's sparkely and it's pink, and I want someone to make me a dress like it! I hope you love it as much as I do!

I love you like I love this page!
the Girl

happy day for me!!!

It's a happy day for me!! Sarah dog came back to live with me!! She missed me sooooo much!! I love her sooooo much!! I hope she doesn't get sick again!! I also have a new kitten. Momma says that it can be an outside only kitten, and that it can be given away. I named it Mallory and gave it some ham. It is sooooo cute!! Momma is sad cause her happy momma juice is not being made anymore. I think it will make momma more crazy! That's all I want to say for now!!

I love you like I love my pets,
the Girl

a sad, sad, day

So, I'm back to drinking at least 2 cans of Diet Coke a morning. I decided to go back to the Tab Energy in the AM. I looked at the grocery stores, walmarts, even gas station, and I could not find it anywhere! It is the BEST tasting energy drink around, like a cherry jolly rancher, a stronger cherry 7up! So I go to coke.com and find that it is available all over North America. However, I've been through this with Coke before, and know that it is a regional distribution thing. So I call the local bottling plant. They tell me that the syrup has been discontinued, and there will be NO MORE! A sad, sad, sad day for me. This is the second time Coke has done this to me (Fanta Pink Grapefruit?)!!!!! I guess I will just have to keep with my 2liter a day habit, then and hope that the syrup formula becomes generic! I guess I will just have to troll the online markets looking for some discounted closeouts! RIP Tab Energy, RIP.....

voting...

So the kids and I took our usual morning treats to our 2 favorite election officials, and man were we in for a surprise!! Usually there is plenty of time to hang with them, but there were HUGE lines! We dropped off their diet cokes and candy, with extra for the other officials, and left. I told them I would come back and vote when they call and tell me they need lunch! It's a good thing the kids voted early, since they would have been late to school if they had to wait in line!

It's Back, Baby! Oh, Yeah

It's that time year, again. The McRib is back! The most awsomely greatest sandwich ever! I can't wait to get mine! I wish I was next in line! We have a rib sandwich at school, and it keeps in the mood for McRib all year. We usually have rib sandwich lunch when my mom can't make it, so she is super happy to get her McRib! Yum! Yum!

I'm the boy, and I approved this post.

Happy Halloween!!

I must be on the crazy train, cause I've never had this much artistic talent!! Next thing we know, I'll be cutting off my ear or something!! Going off of a kid drawing for the girl and a prized picture gift for the boy! Then we also had to sort the seeds from the guts so we can give them to aunt B, as is our tradition. Fun times all around!

the boy's pumpkin... an autobots sign!!

the girl's pumpkin... batty the bat!!

Don't they get it???

I'm yelling at the kids, and they don't seem to hear it... I've got the cold. It is no longer in my nose, thanks to sinus flushing and psudefed. Now, it is attacking my throat. When I woke up, I thought I swallowed a pedi-egg in my sleep and it shredded my throat. I now sound like a two carton a day smoker when my voice isn't cracking like Peter Brady and when it is there at all. So what do the kids get up to?? Everything!! I can't yell at them so well, but I keep trying, and it's making it worse!!! I think I need to get a bean bag gun from the cops. But we all know I can't hit a target, so...
Hopefully I can get my voice back soon, cause these kids won't stay in line. I'm trying to bribe with candy, maybe that will work!!

I am now taking suggestions for renaming windex... appearantly he is a thief as well as a liar. Although I am surprised that he would steal from his son! So windex just isn't enough anymore... and all the names I can think of are not ladylike to post.

My new boy

This is my new friend Tough Guy. He has a white booty. He got his name cause his horns make him tough. My aunt B and uncle B brought him back from Colorado for me. They are awesome! I wish more people would bring me cool things from thier vacations. Last weekend, my friends brought me some taffy from their trip. My momma and the girl are in heaven, but I pout around them. (I have the braces) But I sneak some and cut it into rabbit turds and eat them when they aren't paying attention. It is good taffy!

I'm the boy goat and I approved this message.

My newest glass collection piece

If you didn't know, I have a glass collection. My momma is growling, because I'm supposed to call it a porcelain collection, or breakables. WHATEVER. It is a cool collection and I like it a bunch! This goat is from my aunt B and uncle B. They brought it from Colorado. I wish that everyone who knows me who goes to Colorado would bring me back something Goat.

I love you like I love my glass collection,

the girl

My New Baby

This is my newest baby, a girl like me, her name is Goatly. I got her from my aunt B and uncle B from their trip to Colorado. There is good goat stuff in Colorado. I hope that everyone who goes there will bring me back something Goat.

I love you like I love my goats,
the girl

I've got to start sleeping

As I was trying to get back to sleep last night. I came up with a moniker for he who has been unnamed so far. The one who has cause the biggest change in our lives thus far, and while some parts are worse, it seems way better overall!!

His new name is WINDEX!!

Just so yall know who it is when referenced...

I've been asked the reason why I created this name, and I couldn't remember until last night!!!

When I was up from 2-4, I remembered that it is because I need to take everything he says as just wind, as everything he has "promised" has just blown away!!

outside

Ignore the date, please, it resets every time we recharge the batteries!!!

So anyways, I was looking out the window to see if the bus had come by, when I spied something in the bush in the front yard. I had to look a little hard to figure out what it was, but it appeared that a T-Rex had gotten stuck in the tree!!!!! I think the boy may have had something to do with it.....

seriously crazy

Seriously people, my momma is REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY C-R-A-Z-Y, cukoo, loco, insane!!! She went to school on Monday and left her backpack at home. Then she came home and stayed home. I'll keep you posted on more crazyness.

MMMMMM my chocolate is good. MMMMMM.

I love you like I love the hole in my mouth!
Good night!
I love you,
The girl

What's up with me!!!

Well, here's a little story I'd like to tell. About one bad brother, you know so well. The boy is his name, and he likes baseball. I got nothing else. MIZZOU lost last night, which stunk badly. So here's the inside scoop of the poop: they didn't show up for the first half. Roger Clemons, and Derek Jeeter were hanging out with the two-horns, as I like to call them. Burp. Excuse me. I made momma turn the TV off before half-time and I went to bed.

My sister gave a talk in church today. It was good, she did very well at home when she practiced, but got shy when it was time to talk and made my mom give it.

She is using her lego dudes to control her horses. Who knew lego dudes would work!?

the inside of a fit

I hate everybody. Because I'm stupid. Nothing. MMMMMMM. MMMMMMM. MMMMMMM. MMMMMM. MMMMMM. (smile)MMMMMMM. (giggle, giggle)MM. MM. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. I'm happy now. I love most of you! I'm smarter than you think!! Bye for now,
The girl

have you ever felt???

So, telling the kids how frustrated I am with my situation, and seeing them frustrated with their situation, I thought up a term for us to describe it. Yosemite Sam. Don't know if you know the feeling, but SO angry, frustrated, anxious, scared that you think you could start hopping around/levitating you feel so much. Then maybe you want to do some damage, but you know it won't help, it won't effect your target. Like right now, the girl is feeling very Yosemite! A fit is brewing, as she's had a rough weekend in reference to you-know-who. So here's our new theme... if we had the dough, we would make a t-shirt!!

more breaking news...

So this morning, while we were waiting for the boy to finish his football practice, momma pulled my other bottom tooth!!! I was ready to go Yosimite Sam on her cause she wouldn't let me have any gum until it came out, and this one fell out like the last one. Momma didn't think she had a good grip, and I said, "it's out!" and she said, "huh?" cause you know she's crazy. And it was out! So now I'm getting 2 dollars in 2 days!!! And guess what else? My top two teeth are loose! Momma thinks they'll come out around Thanksgiving! More money!!! And my momma is still crazy!!!!!

I love you like I love the tooth fairy,
Good Night,
Love,
The Girl

getting ready to pull the girl's tooth

BREAKING NEWS!!!!

Hey everybody, guess what happened? I lost myfirst tooth! It was hurtin alllllll day, especially when I ate an apple. My mom checked it for looseness, and it popped. A little later, she checked it again, and it popped off in her kleenex. We both screamed. The boy taped it. He's waiting for the highest bidder before it's posted! I hope the tooth fairy comes tonight! I love her like I love all of you! Love, the Girl!

warping the kids

So in a fit of supreme annoyance, I declared that until the entire song is learned, the chorus to "Baby Come Back" will not be sung (I will not be buying a swiffer anytime soon!). This lead to looking up the song on you-tube, which then lead to almost looking at some dude's collection of '70's videos. Luckily, I remembered that I am the owner of the Time-Life '70's music explosion (thanks Meems, Chibbs, Tom, and Greg Brady!). So guess who's kids are learning lots of hip tunes??? You got that right!! The kids will now be able to torture me with the entire songs from many a commercial! Life is awesome!! As I am writing, they are now trying a horrible version of disco... There may soon be a John Travolta film festival soon! At least they may soon have to learn the hustle, cause I can't take much more of this torture!!

not to be bitter...

Not to be bitter or anything, but here is a list of people with more money and more to fight about than I, who filed for divorce after I did, and have had their divorces finalized before I:

• A-Rod and the former Mrs. A-Rod
• Pink and that motor cross guy
• Christie Brinkley and that pervert

And I'm certain that Madonna will be divorced before me!!!! And let me tell you, It's not me holding things up.

At least I've got medical insurance for a while longer. But come on already!!! Can't I just be done with the fool already???

why my mommma is crazy

My mommma is CRAZY!!! She can never find the TV remotes. I have to find them. They are in the strangest places! She is crazy about shopping. Well, not so much lately, but sometimes! The good part is, she is always willing to give a hand, and is a great parent. She hasn't used the iron for clothes since 2006, only one time for the carpet. She finally started using it again for clothes. One time, she forgot to put on her shirt, and got all the way to the car before she figured it out!!! Sometimes she has crazy dreams.

This post is sponsored by the alpha male.

why my meemaa is crazy

My Meemaa is crazy! She always forgets stuff. She is SOOOOOOO crazy. I have to make her grocery lists for her. But I LOVE her SOOOOOO much! I sneak chocolate on her grocery lists and she buys it for me! I LOVE YOU MEEMS!!!
Love,
the girl

a proposition

Dear Fat Tony,

I don't know if you know this, but it's kinda obvious when you buy a big load of cinder blocks at the depot. With the advent of cheap, laminate furniture and pretty yard bricks, you can't pass off these chores as your reason for the blocks. I have a alternative to your cement shoes. Textbooks. I'm sure there are other students out there besides myself that would gladly sell you our used books, especially if you pay a dollar more than the bookstore does.

I, on the other hand, am requesting a swap instead. I will gladly give you my textbooks if you give me you wives (not your girlfriend's... too sparkly... too trashy... too much!) last season's animal print clothing.

Also, if you don't need the books as weight, you could also use them to transport goods. Textbooks are large enough that you can hallow out a hole and fill it with all sorts of ill-gotten goods!

I believe this is a fabulous business opprotunity for all of us! Please let me know if you are interested!

Momma Goat

so far

Just to update ya'll on my cleaning frenzy...

• My car air filter (it has already paid for itself!!), luckily someone kept the original filter because what the O'Reilly claimed would only take an hour or two really takes a day. So the original is in for the rest of today. It was easier than I thought to clean! But the drying is the time-consuming part, and we'll see about this spray on oil stuff later.
• The vacuum. Since I had the air compressor out, I decided to clean that filter as well. It was gross, with dust vermin flying everywhere. But it is now as good as new! And why does that dust stink so bad?? You would think that my filth would smell like me, like chocolate and sunshine, but sadly no. The kids funk must dominate, although if asked they usually smell like sunshine and sweets as well!
• My kitchen. I still need to do the floor, especially since we lost the automatic dust buster. Who knew that Sarah Dog worked so hard to keep the floors crumb free?? However, everything else is clean, even the shred pile has been taken care of!!
• The bathrooms. The girl really helped with this chore. And we kept it green by using old baby spit rags instead of paper towels!! We even had to replace a never clean in one of the bathrooms, and so was a fun lesson in twisting off the top when its wet!!
• The laundry. The boy helped here, taking care of most of the towels, and even replacing the ones in the bathrooms!! All that's left here is the hang-ups. Ugggghhh, how we all hate that, but I'll get to it soon, and it doesn't seem like quite as much when it's separated into our bedrooms!
• The pile of last semester's school work. I have determined that I will not need to use last semester's notes at all, so I tossed them! I now have a pile of books that are waiting until this semester is over to sell online!! Anyone know how to do this???

I think that is all I've gotten to. I think all I really need to do is the hang-ups, a final pickup of the living room, then it will be on to the floors. I haven't been the floor person in the house, except bathrooms, but since he is here no more, I will have to get into the groove. I'm guessing the floors will be better, since the bathroom floors were always cleaner than the kitchen!! And the girl has a Cinderella complex and wants to hand scrub the kitchen sometime!?!? I don't know what that's all about, but I'll take the help while I can, cause I'm sure she'll turn into her princess soon enough!

waiting

So, I'm waiting for the first load of laundry to go through the washer before I leave... Where is that maid again??? oh, well. I'm posting instead of cleaning the other parts of the house. Although I feel a giant cleaning binge coming!! Hopefully I don't use it all today at my Gramp's house. I think it's the bad allergies causing my cleanliness... As I gagged on snot this morning, I noticed how the toilet could use a good cleanin. That's how it usually starts. Now I'll leave a list of the most wonderful things I have at my house that make my life easier!! (What would I do without...)

1. Baby Wipes- they clean everyone and almost everything! From makeup removal to marker removal to black icing removal, these things clean everything! Not to mention they keep those kids wiping themselves well so I don't have to see itchy behinds!

2. Release Foil- again super fabulous! It lines a pan sooo easily and makes clean-up a breeze! Also makes for a great grill cookie sheet when I use it as an oven!

3. Never-Clean toilet things- the BEST THING EVER! Keeps the bathroom from smelling like pee, instead a pleasing bleach smell, no matter how filthy it is. Also keeps the inside of the toilet clean always! Wonderful!

These are all I have for now, but I'm sure there are more out there...

a new pet??

So I was looking for more images for our blog. I put in pygmy goats. They are SOOOO cute! As I started to look into it a few of the pictures said they make good pets. I was all for talking to Santa about bringing us one, until I read the phrase, "pygmy goats grow to be the size of a large dog." YUCK! I just wanted a cute little goat to take the place of our (not very) cute, little, dog. Oh well. The articles also said that they can be indoor pets and house-trained, but since I don't like big dogs in my house, I don't think I'd like a big goat. But just look at these images and tell me if you think they would be a cute match for us!!!

hip hip hooray!!

We just found out that the temple is going to be built close to us!! I mean close to Target! This means that it's a race to see if the temple gets built first, or if my uncle Mikey, aunt Shannon, and Maddie and Patrick will move here first. Whichever happens first will be the winner!!
Love, the girl!

looking for my M's...

I am in need of the three M's... a maid, a massage, and a manny. And I guess a fourth, moo-lah. If I had these three, I think I would be pretty set! But then again, I could always find other M's that I need!
Getting ready for TV fun tonight!!! At 7pm is 90210, and at 8pm is JAIL. Both promise to bring great viewing pleasure!!

From the backseat...

So on the way to school today, I hear the boy telling the girl how he sometimes takes his magazines to school to read at breakfast. He then continued on that he also sometimes reads his magazines in the bathroom at school. I had to ask if he left class, stopped by his locker, got his magazine, and went for his "reading time." He claims he doesn't do that, he only reads if he needs to visit after breakfast. His magazine subscriptions are Missouri Conservationist as well as ESPN the magazine. It should make the schools proud that he feels so at home there!

what I think

I love Sarah dog! I miss her. Even though she is disgusting.
The goats are crazy! And they like to horn people. Kind of like my momma goat. She is cuckoo crazy. That is all I have to say.
Posted by the girl!

M-I-Z-Z-O-U!!!!!

Way to go MIZZOU! 52-17! Awwwwesoooome! And a boo to Chuck Liddell for being a Nebraska fan. And boo to Boyo for thinking that Mizzou wasn't going to win.
I wish that Kearney wasn't the last demolition derby for that leagues season. That was awwwwsoooome! I can't wait until next year when I get to help work on a car!!
Kansas City area is getting a temple! That is soooo awwwwesoooome! I hope my dad gets to do the metal work for this one too, just like the Navoo temple. It was cool to see the sign and stars before they were put up.
This post is sponsored by the six horned goat (or the ram as I like think of myself).

Someone got a perm...

Someone got a perm this week... Don't hate her because she's beautiful!!!

Sarah Dog

so long to you my trusted friend...

Tonight we lost our good friend, Sarah Dog. She was scheduled to go to the vet for her final farewell tomorrow, but instead she went to live with the kids dad. The pickup lady has no idea what to do with our frail, sick, friend. Although she was getting on our nerves with her illness, we now miss her, and she's only been gone about two hours. We'll shed many tears, and be sad, but as the girl wisely says, "we'll see her again when Jesus comes back!"

We love you Sarah Dog!! and your toothless, stinky poop breath!!

overheard

While the kids were playing cars, the girl says, "What's going on, is there a tussle in the yard or something?"

You think she's a fan of cop shows?