On the way home, I made the boy laugh so hard I thought he might have an asthma attack! We passed the guy we like to call the man without a shirt. This guy is shirtless from early Spring until about Halloween (only putting on a shirt if there is an extreme wind chill). And it's not really a good look. So I told the boy he WAS wearing a shirt, one he grew himself. It is naturally man-made. And that when he gets older, he can grow his own shirt as well! Oh the plans the boy came up with for his very own shirt he's trying to grow!

I don't think I've heard the kids laugh since they got home, or laugh this hard in a long time. I almost cried, or maybe I was laughing hard as well.

cat woke me up

And I can't get back to sleep. So I checked my email, and the kids dad sent me something!

Not surprising is that he is denying abuse, claiming I made up a false claim. I wouldn't know how to create a false claim! All I did was take the boy to the ER for a horrible sunburn, and questioned the marks to the Dr. He did the rest. I'm sure if he didn't think it was bruising, he wouldn't have called in the social worker, or the cops, and it would not have been hotlined. Nor would we have had to go to the children's hospital child abuse clinic the next day, nor would DFS have gotten involved.

I'm so glad he has just made my decision easier for me. I can't allow the kids to go with someone like this. What a jerk!

I also want to say (again!) that their dad was not always like this, that I would not marry a person this full of hate, venom, and crazy, nor would I have kids with a person like this, that would hurt our children.

Oh, and I have my final today! Although I am all studied out for that, getting a 100% on the reviews and a 94% on the practice final. My brain is full of teeth stuff! And children worry.

worst mom ever

The kids' dad calls and tells the boy that he is coming back this weekend and, "I want to see you, don't you want to see me?" Then he asks to talk to me. He tells me that he is coming back and wants to see the kids. I tell him to email it to me, and hang up.

So then I get to break to the boy that he will most likely not be spending any time with his dad face to face. That it is for his protection. That even though his dad sounds like he is "normal" he could still hurt him, that the abuse cycle is quicker and easier each time.

And I feel like such a bad mom because I want him to see his dad, but I don't want either kid to get hurt. I told the kids how I don't trust their dad with the ability to discipline them, or with their overall safety. The boy says he just wants his "real" dad back, and how he has been sounding more like his "real" dad.

Do you think that immersion therapy of Lifetime movies would help them understand what I'm trying to tell them? (I think it may just give the girl more anger issues)

finals (again!)

I have finals again this week. This "term" seems to be easier since this teacher gives us "study guides" that are basically the quiz/test questions. At mid-term I had a 97%, and since have scored mostly 100%'s. The teacher forgot to enter one of my test grades, so it looked like I'm not doing so well, however, I am certain that I will get another A for this term.

On other notes, I've gotten the living room painted and rearranged, and am just lazing about the detail painting. I'm looking (not very hard) for the 3M hook tape in a roll. I'm also thinking about painting the inside side of the front door the detail "blaze orange" or deep salmon as I like to think of it.

I also got told in the middle of the night by a sleeping girl that, "I like mommy the best!" I don't know who she told, but I'm glad she did! This also makes the bad dreams that come as soon as I begin to drift off bearable as well. She also had me sing to her in the middle of a dream as well. I hope I don't talk in my sleep like that, but I'm thinking the crazy doesn't fall far off the train.

And the highlight of the Summer started today... Meemaa's day camp! A week of fun for all the kids! Today was a nature hike, tye-die, and ker-chief making day, with a lesson in camp songs and an obstacle course! Tomorrow is farm day, beginning at the chicken coop, with a visit to goats, and a lesson in BB-guns. WHAT FUN!

it's not ok

• to put your hands on a child in anger
• to cause a bruise on a child that lasts over a week
• to hurt the child so emotionally they feel the hurt as if it is new when they talk about it
• to try and make the child feel that they weren't abused

However, the boy is doing well with all he's been through. The girl is doing good as well. We are all dealing and talking, and keeping them feeling safe and loved. Our family and friends are awesome, with their blessings, prayers, hugs, and support!

Oh, and the kids LOVE their bedrooms too! The girl has been sleeping in her bed every night (after she falls asleep next to me, but it's a move forward)!

joy and pain

I'm SSSSOOOOOO happy to get my kids back. Then we got to spend the evening at the ER with the boy... who came home with the worst sunburn ever, and a golf-ball sized blister, and finger bruises from the incident that concerned me Monday night. Fun times! The Dr popped the blister, put some cream on it, and then we got to talk to the cops and a social worker, and got hotlined. I get to call the police where they were on vacation today, as well as we all get to go to a child abuse clinic. At least we are together, and the kids are safe. I wonder how long they will sleep???

waiting...

The kids get home in about 3 hours!!!!!!!!!! Now, maybe a little longer since I just got a text that the flight is delayed a half hour..... I can't wait to hug, kiss, and snuggle them!!!!